On Monday, I turned 29 years old. I feel very lucky to have such an amazing group of family and friends that made me feel special that day. I received tons of phone calls, emails, gifts, texts and Facebook messages from everyone I love and truly care about. But to be honest, every year on my birthday, I can't help but feel a wave of anxiety wash over me. There is nothing logical about this feeling. I am healthy and strong. I am surrounded by people that care about me. And yet, on a day that I am supposed to be celebrating and basking in the attention that Leos tend to love, I experience a fight or flight sensation that doesn't ease up until the day after my birthday.
I've been thinking about this a lot lately and trying to understand why I go through this. When I was a teenager and up until my early 20s, I had a list of goals I expected to accomplish before turning 30. Some of the big ones included being married, working in the music industry and living in New York. But life hasn't exactly worked out that way and with the exception of moving to New York five years ago (and loving it), I haven't accomplished the goals I once felt were important to me. I don't work for a record label or music magazine and granted, I no longer even want to work in music, but the point is, somewhere along the way, my path changed its course. And I should be okay with that. I am excited about what I do now. I'm in a creative industry and work with some of the most talented people I've ever met. And as far as relationships go, I meet my fair share of date-worthy gents. Nowhere near marriage, but that's okay. The beauty about living in this city is that new and exciting things happen everyday.
I feel like I have a positive outlook on this now, when just a few days ago, I was panicked at the thought of being one year away from 30. 30-year-olds are adults! And I don't necessarily feel like one most of the time. Which I suppose is a good thing because time does fly and before I know it, I'll be wishing I was a young 29-year-old. Right?
How about you guys? Do any of you ever go through the birthday blues?
(Pictures via Laura Makabresku via Aubrey Road)