Modern Manners

A few nights ago, I was having a conversation with one of my best friends regarding modern day manners. She had recently sent out a dinner party invitation and only two people, myself included, had replied. My friend is really sweet and she throws amazing dinners, parties, events and pretty much any sort of get-together. She is the kind of host who makes beautiful flower arrangements, bakes everything from scratch, and has an acute attention to detail. If she invites you over, you should want to go. In fact, if you already have plans, you should change them and go to whatever it is she's doing instead.

I understand things come up and people have other commitments. Totally natural. But since when did not replying to personalized invitations become acceptable? I, too, recently invited friends out to a bar for a little reunion. Some of them emailed me back saying they couldn't make it. Some didn't reply at all. Despite telling myself that it was probably because they were swamped at work, I was still hurt.

I understand people get busy, but when someone invites you to something, I think it's only common courtesy to let them know whether or not you can make it. Has the use of social media, like Facebook event invites for example, made us more inconsiderate?

What do you think? When someone sends you an invitation, do you respond even if to let the host know you can't make it? Or if you're the host, how do you deal with non-responders? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Emily Post's Etiquette can be found here.
RSVP photo via InspiredBride


Brooklyn :

I always respond whether we can make it or not....and unfortunately, I think social media has made us laaazzzzyyy

Chapstick Fanatic :

oh my goodness this is one of those things that irks me. i host a lot of events for friends. i spend days cooking and cleaning. and some people don't respond at all (or very last minute)...

so i have to buy and make extra of everything just in case.

it takes two seconds to respond. there is no excuse. i feel like it comes down to a respect issue...

Kattia-San Francisco My Song :

This is such an amazing post, not rsvp'ing can be hurtful. Even if it's a "no I can't make it" , it still provides the host closure. People plan and cook and get dressed, clean and prepare!!! So for people not to follow through is pretty....

Anonymous :

I have to admit that these days I often forget to get back to people. if it's a personalized invitation or an email I usually respond right away, but social media invites... I couldn't even tell you why I frequently forget to even acknowledge them. something to think about, I guess.

but I've also noticed a trend to more individual or personal invitations, so maybe people have picked up on the fact that another fb invite or twitter message won't do.

iheartkiwi :

I always respond. I understand that life is hectic and people are busy but you owe it to the host to reply.

My husband thinks Facebook is going to be the ruin of our society :)

{The Design Daredevil} Jessie D. Miller :

I agree....especially with small intimate and EXPENSIVE gatherings. I was dating a reausturant owner years ago and we were invited to a dinner party by my bf's boyfriend. He went ALL OUT to impress the guy I was dating, as his restaurant is the best in town. I think he spent a TON of money. Well "my guy" bailed at the last min and I was HORRIFIED! How rude?! I went and felt like an ass. Needless to say we stopped dating soon after.

I love those paper RSVP cards!

nadia :

Oh my goodness, re: iheartkiwi's comment, my husband also thinks the same of Facebook! And you know what, I think they are right.
I always respond. I had to chase people when it came to rsvping to my wedding. I even received two emails from people cancelling that morning! It's just bad form people!

xo Nadia

Eliza Jane :

I always respond! I think it's really rude not to. I'm someone who usually plans things, and I absolutely HATE it when people don't respond. Or respond at the very last minute. Or say they'll come and then don't. It's disrespectful!

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