|(Above photos by Max Wanger)|
DOPT readers, in honor of our film, it is with great excitement that we announce, today, the launch of our new blog series, "Our Secrets to a Happy Marriage." Inspired by this lovely series, we've decided to interview happily married couples on their secrets.
First up are our good friends, Kati & Owen. Their wedding photos, above, are by photographer Max Wanger. Aren't they stunning? Well, today Max is offering one of our film supporters any 30X45 print, from his shop, in exchange for supporting our film. Visit our Kickstarter page for more details: www.aftertheweddingkickstarter.com
Hope you enjoy the series! xo
Tell us how you met.
We met our last year of high school in Miami. We went to a particularly nerdy school, it was dual enrollment so my high school was in a college downtown. A lot of kids would go off campus to eat lunch, we were all in a pizza place (Argenti's) and I spotted him with another group of friends. He seemed quiet, mysterious and stood out completely. Argenti's had a TV that played music videos, "Tonight, Tonight" from the Smashing Pumpkins came on, a song and band that I was deeply in love with. I could barely hear it with all the chatter, when suddenly Owen stood up from across the room, walked over and turned it up. I was instantly smitten, it was like he had read my thoughts, we were meant to be or in the least he had amazing music taste! He remembers this day vividly as well and can perfectly describe what I was wearing and my smile. We both had so much in common but couldn't be more different at the same time. Later in the school year we would ditch our friends during lunch and go on drives to the beach, listen to Radiohead and have the most deep conversations. To this day that first year we met remains the best year of my life and I dream of reliving it exactly all over again. We became fast friends, then in a relationship, and 9 years later got married. We will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary in May.
How did you know he/she was "the one?"
I think I knew he was the one from the beginning, I can't imagine my life without him and when ever I have it was very painful. You know you are meant to be with someone when you can't fathom the thought of being apart from them. His happiness is my happiness, and it's what gives me the greatest peace in my life. I think I always wanted a husband who could make me feel calm and make me laugh hysterically, and I think Owen appreciates my love of goofy jokes and for adventure Owen is the most honest, kind and beautiful human being in this planet. To know him is to love him and I love him more every day.
How did he propose?
Well after 8 years you know it's coming. A lot of people ask why we waited so long, but we met very young and had a lot of personal goals to accomplish: college, career, and being young and in love in NYC. We would never pressure each other to do anything we weren't ready for and at the most perfect time in our lives, he proposed. The wait was worth it, because we both were 100% ready, deliriously in love and excited. The proposal was perfect, on one knee he could barely say the words he was a string of nerves. I told him yes and cried, I said I would try the rest of my life to be as beautiful as the ring he put on my finger and promised to be a loving wife and mother.
Do you have any favorite stories from your marriage or about your husband/wife?
I have millions, after 10 years you have a bag full. This is a very recent one. We've just moved back to NYC from SF, and still getting our routine back on in our new Brooklyn apartment. I always cook and Owen does the dishes. I love cooking so it's not a problem. It's funny how the most amazing things happen when you're doing the most mundane of things. We had just had our first dinner party in our new apartment, so the dishes were sky high and Owen asked for help. I told him I hated washing dishes but I would be happy to dry and put away. I loved this chore, and enjoyed organizing and placing my pretty plates and glasses safely on our shelves. He laughed and said that's great because he hated the repetitive drying and putting away. He found washing dishes therapeutic and peaceful and would rather do that part anyway. We both beamed. He looked at me and said, "Kati I love you, we are totally meant to be!". It was silly, but it brought tears to my eyes. Some of our best conversations occur when Owen is doing the dishes after dinner and I'm keeping him company with a glass of wine. We talk about our future, work, our families, even his dream of children and thoughts on us being parents. It was during one of these times that Owen first told me he thought I would be an amazing mother, I'll never forget it. For us at least, Life is what happens to you while you're busy doing dishes.
What's your secret to a happy marriage and what advice would you give to a newlywed?
Yes, one big one! Everyone says the first year of marriage is the most difficult but for us it was the happiest and the most peaceful. It was like we're back to business but now we're together forever and we're that much happier! My biggest advice and this is important...I would recommend living with your partner before you commit to life long matrimony. Those years living together pre-marriage are the best way to learn and grow together. This time is vital! We went through every possible up and down, ironed out the day to day wrinkles and became comfortable with our roles in the relationship before we tied the knot. Your expectations are set super high after you say I do, those feelings plus a new living situation are a risky mix. Things come out when you live with a person, things you may want to know before you marry them. You realize fully if you're a right match and what better time than before you commit. You can love a person all you want but if you can't stand living with them, then that's a deal breaker. I mean wouldn't you rather move out then get divorced? For us, it was marrying your best friend, best lover and your best room mate of "all time" at the same time. Test drive then buy the car people, easy peasy.
Isn't that beautiful? Special thanks to Max Wanger for his participation in our Kickstarter. And thanks to Kati + Owen for sharing their sweet story! We ♥ you guys!