On Rejection

Do you ever have those days (or weeks or months) where everyone around you just seems to be saying no? I was hesitant to write about this topic on here, since we generally like to keep things light and fun, but I know I'm not the only to have ever faced this so I figured a dedicated post on the subject matter would be not only therapeutic for me, but maybe even helpful to anyone who reads this ol' blog here. 

So here are my thoughts on rejection. It sucks. Whether it's love, career, or friendship related, it can be a really confusing time. I personally like to think of myself as smart and creative and loyal, so in the recent weeks where I haven't been able to get what I want, I have to admit, I've been feeling sorry for myself. So I turned to Google. And you know what? There's some really good stuff out there. Thanks Internet! 

Everything I've read online about the subject matter seems like total, obvious common knowledge. But when you're in a slump, it's hard to see things realistically and not have so many FEELINGS. So I've allowed myself some time to wallow in self-pity and for me, it actually helped. But after a few days of feeling bad, I decided to just.get.over.it. It's not easy, but here are some of the things I've been doing and thinking about to heal and deal. 

1. Hang out with people to adore you. In my case, these people are my family and friends. I'm fortunate to live close to my sisters and I can rely on them when things aren't going so great. And besides them, I have a good handful of dear friends that I can text in the middle of the night with anxiety-ridden messages and who will agree to meet me for coffee the next morning. Having good friends is truly the thing I am most grateful for. They've been able to talk me out of my slumps and make me remember the good stuff about myself and my work. 

2. Realize that rejection isn't always personal. This one is a tough one because when it's happening to you, it certainly feels personal. How could this person or company or whatever it is rejecting you, not want you? Well, sometimes that decision just has nothing to do with you. Maybe they hired someone else because they knew someone in common. Maybe you've been dumped because the person you've been dating has other stuff on their plate not related to you. Maybe your friends aren't available because they have their own drama to deal with and aren't even aware of how they're affecting you. The bottom line is, sometimes it's just not about you. I know from experience that I haven't dated very lovely people just because I wasn't ready, or I have not hired someone based on chemistry. It doesn't mean I thought bad things about these people, they just weren't right at the time. Sometimes it's just timing. 

3. Get out of the house. This is another challenging one for me because I'm a homebody and I work from home. I literally have to force myself sometimes to leave my apartment, but once I do, it's great. Vitamin D and sunshine are miracle workers. Even on cloudy days, it's just good to get fresh air and do some walking. Being outside forces me to not wallow in my rejection related sadness. 

4. Remember that everyone has gone through this. Even the most famous and talented people have been rejected/fired/dumped. Reading these rejection letters to some very talented people actually cheered me up. 

5. Keep at it. Be persistent. Just because you've been turned down doesn't mean it's an excuse to give up. There will always be other opportunities, but they rarely come knocking on your door. You have to keep trying and put yourself out there. Even when it's hard. 

I know it's really hard to deal with when it's happening, but I hope these little tips help. I'd love to hear any others you may have. 


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